I wish my bottom was aching and not my heart

This week my kitten died, and I thought that my heart would break.  It was sick for a very short while with a virus called sniffles and then just when the vet thought it was getting better.. it died.  I was absolutely heart broken. My husband was very supportive, even though he was also upset he was, as always my rock.  He comforted me and supported me and held me tight as I sobbed in his arms that night.  He pampered me, made excuses for me when I was tired and miserable over the  next couple of days and was kind and loving and tolerant.  He is always kind and loving and tolerant to a point, but this week, he went the extra mile for me, things that would usually have earned me a stinging bottom, were somehow swept aside unnoticed.

Comments that would usually have attracted 'that' look, or a stern reprimand, simply went unheard!

Did I appreciated it? Yes I did! Did I love him more for it? Yes I did! Was it the desired outcome? No!!

For the first time I really wanted him to spank me, I wanted to have an aching bottom and and not an aching heart, I wanted to be able to just cry and cry and cry and get it all out, but he kept being tolerant and loving and forgiving.  I wondered, if anyone else has ever felt frustrated, from the lack of a spanking?  Have you ever gone out of your way to look for a spanking, and no matter what you did, not been able to achieve it?

If so, how did you handle it?  Has anyone had the courage to ask for a spanking?  If so.. did you get what you asked for?

Are we, or are we not... complex beings?